Saturday, August 27, 2011

A New Republic


On March 27, 2027, presidential candidate Doctor Philip Spencer Dawson had this to say to the Australian people…

            Ladies and Gentlemen,
                                                We are a nation of fighters. A nation full of pride, passion and power. A nation that now proudly stands on its own, and answers to no-one. Since emancipating ourselves from the Commonwealth, we have signalled to the world that we are ready, willing and able to prosper as we see fit.

            This new found independence could not have come at a more trying time. As we, and the rest of the Pacific Rim, lick our wounds from the Great War. A war, so catastrophic, so horrifying, years from now future generations will look back and wonder, ‘Why so much hate?’ 
Not in World War One, Two or Three was the bloodshed so brutal, so relentless or so pointless.
In this, the aftermath, we can hold our heads up high as a nation and be proud of our efforts. We deterred the Indonesians, with the help of our Kiwi friends and our Turkish brothers, who once we used to slay, now together we break bread, drink tea and pray. And for their efforts and yours, I thank you.

            Now, as we breathe a collective sigh of relief with the demise of capitalism, and as every society on Earth searches for a new way, a way that works, a way that is equal for all, a way to live freely, a way to live democratically that cannot be corrupted by those who obtain power, and cannot take away freedoms from its citizens to impose their will upon the masses under the guise of ‘freedom through democracy’.
Fresh food, water and shelter will no longer be enough, to fool the masses; the last Great War will make sure those lessons are not easily nor quickly forgotten. Fresh food, water and shelter will no longer be enough to allow man to be trapped into thinking they’re better off than starving children in the African desert.
           
            As one, we will build a better future, that has the interests of all at heart not just the few, not just the privileged, or the so-called elite. But every single man, woman and child whose mind is functional, whose lungs expand and whose heart beats just the same as you and just the same as me. I will lead a nation that knows no man is better than another, we may be superficially different, but we are all fundamentally the same.

            Without reliance upon oil and coal, we can become a self-sufficient nation that lives with and embraces nature. Although we have been told it could take many years for the radiation and acid rain to completely dissipate from the atmosphere, we can carry on with our lives in a relatively normal way, wearing a mask outside is a small price to pay for new found freedom. And let these masks be a reminder to us all of what is at stake for humanity in every hand we lend upon on our road to recovery.

This is indeed a time for man, to learn from his mistakes and start again. No matter what a man’s colour, creed, race or religion, it matters not, for they are still man, and all men are brothers and all women sisters of equal value and worth.
Religion may be freely expressed and practised, but it will no longer be imposed upon anyone outside a building of worship. It may not walk the street, accosting citizens, or knock upon their doors. If an individual seeks out Religion, they will know where to find it.

            As a nation, we will not be returning to the evils of greed and money. Hence, Capitalism will be outlawed; it has almost destroyed humanity once, so it will not be allowed to establish a foothold in this country ever again.
We will be setting up a nationally recognised bartering system. Every single one of you, who listen to this, has a set of unique skills that you posses that will enable to you to build, cook, create, grow, or offer to another in return for something you need from your fellow man. Bartering plants the foundation of respect throughout society. It forces man to be humble and accept that there are things that he cannot do, but his neighbour can do. Allowing mutual respect to grow and prosper.

            Communities will govern themselves. They will elect a community leader, vote upon their own laws and their elected leader will report to me quarterly at a conference in the capital. All communities will be sovereign in their laws and land rights. But all communities must pledge allegiance to Australia in a time of crisis.

            Under my leadership, we will live peacefully and harmoniously with each other and those around us. Meaning government and bureaucracy will be virtually non-existent and ideally not needed as communities govern themselves.

            Now… People have been asking about technology. And to them I say, our ancestors lived before us with only the most primitive means of technology, so I ask do we really need to go back to the age of bad reality television, formulaic movie plots and bland generic music made by computers? I believe we can and should live without these things, I encourage music, played by you all, with the instruments that you build, as I believe, music is the language of the soul.
Now, we will still have radio, bringing you music, news and entertainment. But as for television, the Internet, and Hollywood movies, these will not be brought back, if you require entertainment, read a book, speak with family and friends, tell a story or you could even write your own.

            In closing, I would like to say, that I love this country and I see nothing but a prosperous future ahead. I see a peaceful, happy nation. One that helps each other respects each other and loves each other, just like our ancestors. Before Capitalism, greed, narcissism, apathy, selfishness, moral bankruptcy and opportunism took over our society and almost wiped us from the face of the Earth.

            We are the lucky survivors of the Great War. We owe it not just to ourselves but to the slain, fallen and maimed to learn from our mistakes and to take a different path from that of our ancestors.

            I, Philip Spencer Dawson, having learned from mans past mistakes, put my hand up to lead, as President, this great nation of Australia.

            Thank you.


...Words that never passed his lips.       

R.I.D


We should have a group that is endorsed by the community but free of government and independently operated, so it cannot be corrupted by liars, cheats and scoundrels who have agendas to push and revenge to seek.

This group of individuals, lets call them the ‘Removal of Idiotic Dickheads’ agency – or RID for short. Once appointed, they will only have the one purpose throughout their day – to stop idiocy.

How will they do this?

In many ways, but the main way will be by being militant observers of the human race. And at anytime, at any moment, whenever they see an act of idiocy, they are expected to stop that individual, and point out their idiotic behaviour.

Repeat idiots will be given a limit… Five idiotic acts a month and they’re not allowed to leave their house for thirty days and they may only leave after that if you pass a test of common sense and decency.

If an idiot continues unabated after many, many times, he/she will be given the option of permanent house arrest or lethal injection. It will be explained to the idiot, that their death is preferred as the Earth is becoming over populated and we need all the food, water and oxygen we can get.

If, since idiots, are, well, idiots and too many of them, do continue with their behaviour unabated – the choice of permanent arrest and death will be rectified to simply – execute on site.

Businesses with idiotic policy will also be fined, named and shamed. ‘RID’ Agents will have the right to pose as a customer, challenge a policy and then vanquish it upon confirmation of said ‘policy’ – not making any sense, being redundant and in the sole interests of the business and not the consumer. All legitimate policies that stand up to scrutiny will of course, be allowed to stand.

Idiots who have had 5 or more infringements will be removed from the electoral roll for the next 3 elections. The removal from the electoral roll increases in correspondence to the number of idiotic offences. This in many cases will effectively be a permanent ban from voting in any democratic election.  

‘RID’ Agents will be highly trained to tell the difference between idiocy and mistake, idiocy and accident (unless of course an act of idiocy leads to an accident, which is nearly always the case), idiocy and chance, meaning the risk for mistakes in charging idiots is at a calculated 0.00001 percent, the likes of which have never been seen before.

Idiotic behaviour when drinking can be excused at the discretion of the attending agent(s).

Idiotic behaviour when on drugs can be excused at the discretion of the attending agent(s).

Idiotic behaviour when not on any mind-altering substance will never be excused and may result in severe beatings that are also at the discretion of the attending agent(s)

Idiots will be made to attach bumper stickers on their cars/motorbikes/trucks/mode of transport that read – ‘Beware! I am an idiot. And I do stupid things, quickly, erratically and unexpectedly. I apologise in advance.’

Repeat idiots may cause their parents to be submitted to involuntary sterilisation. (Depending on age, nature may have thankfully already done the job for us)

Repeat offenders will be barred from procreating with other repeat idiotic offenders, halting the idiotic gene in its inbred tracks.

If you cannot read and write, you will not necessarily be assumed an idiot, but your parents will be sterilised or shot, whichever is cheaper. Then you will be offered to learn how to read and write, if you decline, you will be sterilised or shot, whichever is cheaper. If you accept and still cannot learn how to read and write after the intense tutelage of trained professionals, you will be released. Because clearly, your mental retardation is a more pressing issue that needs to be addressed.

‘RID’ Agents will blend into society. 

They can and will be anywhere, at anytime.